Monday, September 02, 2024
When Teachers Make Mistakes
An Approach with Teacher Wellness in Mind
Teachers are human and will inevitably make mistakes. What teachers choose to do after making a mistake can have a huge impact on their mental health and wellness.
It only takes a short amount of time in the world of education for a teacher to make a mistake--sometimes little mistakes and sometimes big mistakes.
While we can't avoid errors, we can learn how to respond after the mistake in a way that serves us and our students better.
Teachers can model how to avoid the vicious shame-blame cycle in which many find themselves trapped following a blunder.
Read on to Learn:
- How to Break Free from the Shame-Blame Cycle: How does one stop spinning in these unhealthy thought patterns?
- View Mistakes as Opportunities for Growth: What is the key to growing through our mistakes instead of beating ourselves up?
- Foster a Healthy Classroom Environment: How you respond to your own mistakes sets an example for your students. How can we create safe spaces for learning and growth?
The Shame-Blame Cycle
As teachers, we are bound to make mistakes—it's a natural part of being human. However, the way we handle these errors can significantly impact our mental health and overall well-being.
When a mistake occurs, it's important to avoid the destructive cycle of shame and blame. Shame is different from guilt. Guilt tells us that we have acted contrary to our values and desires and prompts us to make adjustments accordingly. Shame tells us that something is wrong with us or we aren't "good enough" or "worthy." Shame prompts us to hide away and figuratively beat ourselves up. Shame is lie. Our value as a human being is constant. We have infinite worth. Nothing we could do or not do changes our worth.
While we want to avoid shaming ourselves, we also want to avoid blaming others. Blame shifts all responsibility for our thoughts, emotions, and actions onto other people or external circumstances. This puts us in the position of the victim because we cannot ever control others or external circumstances. In this space, we are powerless to make changes. We are dependent upon others or the world to change in order for us to feel better.
When circumstances don't change, we often return to shame and focus on what is wrong with us. While that also feels terrible, we get a temporary sense of relief as the emotion shifts. After a while, shame becomes too intolerable, and we again start blaming others.
The truth is that neither response--blame or shame--is beneficial to us (or anyone else) in the long run.
What to do Instead
The way out of the shame-blame cycle is rather simple: awareness. Simply noticing that you are vacillating between shame and blame will get you out of the cycle. Then you can make important shifts if your thinking that will feel better and help you show up again as the teacher (and the person) you most want to be.
Acknowledge you made a mistake AND that's okay. You don't have to beat yourself up. Of course you mess up! You're a human teacher, not a robot or AI teacher. Offering yourself grace and self-compassion is key in these scenarios. Simply owning up to the error allows you to move forward towards growth. Just like we want our students to learn from their math or spelling errors, we too can learn from our blunders, but only if we are being kind to ourselves in the process.
For instance, if you've raised your voice at your class and that doesn't feel good to you, it's okay to admit it to your students, apologize, and express your intention to do better next time. Examine the situation. What was happening? What were you thinking and feeling that led to that action? How does it make perfect sense that you responded that way. Looking forward, how can you shift your thinking in a way that will create different emotions and actions next time you're faced with a similar circumstance?
This approach not only alleviates guilt but also fosters a healthier classroom environment where both you and your students can thrive. Your students will learn that your classroom is a place where they can try their best, make mistakes, and learn from them! Additionally, embracing vulnerability by admitting our mistakes to ourselves and others strengthens our connections with students and colleagues, creating a supportive community focused on continuous improvement.
In the end, every mistake is a lesson in disguise, offering valuable insights into how we can become better educators and individuals. By adopting a mindset that views errors as acceptable, we can (with self-compassion) turn our blunders into opportunities for learning rather than failures, we can improve our mental health, enhance our self-care practices, and ultimately become more effective teachers.
Listen to the full podcast episode!
Hi There, Teacher Friend!
If you’re spinning in shame and blame and can't seem to find your way out of it, I can help you!
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Brenna Nelson
Long-time Educator turned Certified Life Coach
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